Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil
by AnotherNamelessAuthor
Summary: "An idiot would be able to tell that whatever was about to happen, whatever was about to be said, whatever occurred in the next minute or so would change everything. The idiot standing in front of me was bout to do something that would change everything." - A not so revealing reveal fic
1. Chapter 1

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**HEAR NO EVIL. SEE NO EVIL. SPEAK NO EVIL.**

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination. Merlin belongs to the BBC and the song lyrics to Lifehouse.

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><p>.<p>

_Am I losing control or losing my mind?_

_I know for a fact I'm losing my last place to hide._

_Well maybe I'm blind, just throwing darts in the dark._

_I didn't get what I want, I got what I need._

_Man it hurts like hell down here on my knees._

_Is this where I end, or is this where we begin?_

(Lifehouse – Near Life Experience)

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He stared at the wall just behind my head, avoiding making eye contact. He took yet another deep breath. I could hear his mind screaming, "I can do this. I CAN DO THIS!" as he tried to stop himself from hyperventilating. I could see the beads of sweat forming on his forehead as he took a fresh gulp of air. I could feel the tension which had infected the air, making the few feet between us feel like leagues.

An idiot would be able to tell that whatever was about to happen, whatever was about to be said, whatever occurred in the next minute or so would change everything. _The_ idiot standing in front of me was about to do something that would change everything.

"I need you to understand... what I mean is that it's important that you hear me out..." It was maybe the seventh or eighth time he had begun to speak. Had it not been for the fact that everything about him was reeking of how serious this conversation was, I would have yelled at him to spit it out. But even I am not that insensitive. Not when his expression silently tells me the whole world is about to be turned upside down. He attempted to tell me again. "Please believe me that I didn't want to hurt you. Please believe me that I have only ever tried to serve you, to protect you. Please believe me!" His eyes were pleading his case more than his words. No matter what was said next I knew I would believe he fully mean it. "I want you to know I won't fight you. Whatever punishment you give me I will accept, I just need you to know the truth."

He looked me straight in the eye, with a look to pierce my soul and sharply inhaled before quickly exhaling not just the air, but words. Words laced with pain and regret.

"I have magic."

He maintained the eye contacted. He watched for any change in my featured, for any hint of how I would react. I stayed perfectly still, processing the information, weighing up the possible outcomes of my next action.

"Did you hear me?" he spoke timidly. "I have magic Arthur, aren't you going to say anything? Aren't you going to shout for the guards? Send me to the dungeons? Tie me to a pyre?"

I just stared blankly back at him continuing to weigh my words. There was several minutes silence before I spoke, and when I did, "I know," was all I said.

"_What_?" His jaw had dropped and a confused expression had overtaken the nervous look of a few seconds before.

"I know."

He gasped and stared at me with disbelief in his eyes. "You know?"

"I know."

"When why didn't you say anything?" His confusion and disbelief was quickly turning to anger. "Why didn't you confront me? Why didn't you tell me?" He waved his arms around frantically. "You are such a _prat_! You could have put me out of my misery ages ago. Why didn't you? Why?"

"You weren't ready." I turned away from him looking towards my throne and the banners that hung around it.

"I wasn't ready?"

"No."

"I wasn't ready for what?"

"For what follows."

"Well am I ready now then?"

"You'll have to be."

He glared at me. "So what's next? Where do we go from here?"

"Now you leave." I replied taking a deep breath and I turning back around to face him.

"Leave? You want me to leave Camelot?"

"Yes."

"_Why_?"

"Because you've finally broke the silence and now I must decided what I want to do."

"But if you already knew then surely you've already decided?"

I shook my head.

"You must leave Merlin. You must leave and return in four days to hear your fate."

"Four days? Why four days?"

"One for each year I've known." I replied simply.

"You've known that long?"

"Yes."

"But Uther was still king then!"

"He was."

"But you declared you hated magic back then!"

"I thought if I made you believe that you would stop." I admitted.

"Well it didn't work did it?"

"No."

There was a tense silence between us.

"Am I not at least allowed to plead my case before I go? Tell you my story?"

"I would rather you didn't"

He seemed to sense something in my voice. "You need me to go now don't you?"

"Yes."

"But I can return in four days." He asked anxiously.

"Yes."

He nodded in understanding. "Right well I will see you then. Good bye for now Arthur." He turned and left the throne room, just like he would if he was heading off to do some chore or other.

"Goodbye Merlin," I whispered to the empty room. I sunk down onto my knees, head in hands trying to block out all the thoughts running through my head. What did I do now? Even after all this time I was undecided. I had always put off making a plan. I thought if I the two of us could maintain an illusion of hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil, that I would never need to.

But Merlin had broken the silence. He had spoken of it and now all the pretences were ripped at their already fragile seems and I had to finally make a choice. A choice I wasn't sure if I was ready to make.

And I only had four days.

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AN: This is my first Merlin fic so tell me what you think. I have written it to be a one-shot however if I get enough encouragement I might add a couple of other chapters. If I've made any glaring mistakes let me know. Please review!

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	2. Chapter 2

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**HEAR NO EVIL. SEE NO EVIL. SPEAK NO EVIL.**

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination. Merlin belongs to the BBC and the song lyrics to Lifehouse.

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><p>.<p>

_Silence just keeps screaming back at me _

_The ones I love are lost in memories _

_And I wish that I could take back what was done _

_You can only change the person you've become _

_I have to try and find a way_

_To leave it all behind_

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_(Lifehouse – Crash and Burn)_

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"Arthur?" Her voice, usually a beacon of hope that can breakdown any walls or barriers, is distant. "Arthur what's wrong?" I feel pressure being applied to my left shoulder as she lowers herself down to my level. "Arthur talk to me, please."

She is trying desperately to reach me through the fog of uncertainty and pain engulfing me. But I don't want to be reached. I want to be encased and overtaken by the despair that I only just realise has been filling me since I first saw Merlin this morning. Because that was when I knew that today was the end. There was something in the way he walked, the way he looked. The way he wouldn't, couldn't look me in the eye.

"Arthur what happened?" She brought one of her slender hands to lift my head so I was looking into her eyes. The beautiful brown orbs which usually smile secretly at me are misted over with concern. "Please Arthur, tell me."

I bow my head closing my eyes. I can't look at her. I can't tell her. If I say it out loud to someone else then it will be all the more real. But if no one knows I will have these four days to myself with no one to try force my hand one way of the other.

At some point she had sunk fully to the ground and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into her embrace and cradling me like a child. I know I should feel humiliated, after all I am a King. Kings are meant to be strong and never show weakness. Yet how can I be strong when I feel as though the foundation which has kept me standing for so long has just become cracked and fragmented beneath my very feet.

Whether it was minutes or hours that I sat there in her embrace I cannot say. My head was swimming with all the memories of things that I had seen, heard and ignored over the last four years.

"Come on Arthur, let's go to our room." She loosened her grip on me so that I could move and allow her to stand. Once she was standing she reached for my hand and helped me up. "You are not well my love, we need to get you to bed and have Gaius examine you." She pulled me towards the exit of the throne room and towards our chambers without once relinquishing her claim to my hand.

I'm not sure how it happened but it is a new day and I am staring out my window as though somewhere in the cloudless sky above is the answer to all my questions and problems. My perfect Guinevere is fussing about, trying to draw me into a conversation I have no interest in being a part of, when someone knocks on the chamber door. I don't bother to turn around as it opens and a new figure enters the room.

"I am sorry to disturb you Sire, Milady," it is Gaius, "but you haven't seen Merlin have you? Only it seems no one has seen him since you were in the throne room yesterday morning."

I close my eyes and breathe deeply. I knew his absence would not go unnoticed for long. He is too much of a constant presence in everyone's lives to be able to slip away unseen.

"I'm very sorry but I haven't seen him Gaius. Have you Arthur?"

I don't want to reply. I don't want to lie to them, yet the truth will hurt them more. All I want is to be left alone to catalogue my memories and thoughts of my goofy manservant. No, that's not true. What I really want is to take back the last twenty-four hours and stop that idiot from ever having opened his mouth. If I had just stopped him from saying it, stopped him from confirming what I already knew, then the blissful denial I was content to live in could have continued.

"Arthur you know where he is don't you?" Sweet Guinevere, she does not understand what she is trying to force out of me. "Merlin's absence is why you're so quiet and distant isn't it? What happened yesterday Arthur? Where is Merlin?" Her angelic voice is dripping in anxiety and worry.

"Sire, if you have any idea where he is I would appreciate knowing." Poor Gaius, he worries so much about the young man he sees as his surrogate son. "Please Sire, tell us." It is more of a gentle command then a question.

I turn to face them both. The look on their faces as they gaze upon me tells me that the emptiness I am feeling inside is reflected on my face.

"He has gone away for a few days." They are the first words I have said since his departure and they burn my throat as I utter them.

Gaius raises a questioning eyebrow while Guinevere looks confused. "Why has he gone away? And where? Surely he would have said something to us," she asks.

"It was not a planned trip and he needed to leave immediately." It was not really a lie. "He will return in a few days."

The old physician remains quiet, but my ever so lovely wife continues to question me.

"Where has he gone?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't you know?"

"I didn't ask."

"Why not?"

"I didn't want to know."

My tired and emotionless answer seems to silence her for a moment allowing Gaius to take over the interrogation.

"Sire, what was it you and Merlin spoke of before he left, if not his journey?"

"Secrets." The word fell from my lips before I had a chance to even realise what I was saying. It was like it was a breath, hardly audible, but the widening of Gaius' eyes told me he had heard.

Heard and understood.

"You said he will be back in a few days?" he asked.

"Three days." I replied. "He is to be gone for four in total."

"May I ask why four?"

"A day for a year."

"But you have known him longer then that Sire."

"Have I Gaius?"

His eyebrows seemed to raise themselves higher and his lips opened in surprise as he realised the meaning of what I had said. Beside his Guinevere looked perplexed, but it appeared she did not dare interrupt our exchange.

"If you do not mind my asking Sire, what is to become of him when he returns?"

Oh how I wish I knew the answer.

When I did not reply Guinevere took the opportunity to discover the meaning behind our words. She through questions at myself and Gaius. Neither of us answered her. We were too busy looking at each other, him to probably figure out my next action, and me? I stared at Gaius trying to decide how to fix this without breaking the hearts of all those I loved and held dear.

The physician was the first to look away.

"Milady, maybe we should leave the King to his thoughts."

"What has Merlin done?" She was never one to be distracted from her goal.

"He broke the law," Gaius replied.

"Which law?" Her persistence almost made a ghost of a smile appear on my face.

"Merlin spoke of magic." I told her.

"Speaking of magic is not illegal Arthur. Why would you send him away for that?"

"Because he spoke of his own magic." I heard her gasp in disbelief as I turned back to face the window again. "He broke the pretence of my ignorance to it and now I am obliged to act."

But how to act?

If only he hadn't said anything.

And now I only had three days left.

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Author Note: I realise this is pretty angsty and Arthur is a bit OOC but I wanted to get across how torn up and confused his is about what he needs to do. I know he is King and can change the law if he wants, but he is very aware that changing it and the same time that Merlin is annouced to have magic will not end well politically. Also he is undestandably quite annoyed that it's taken Merlin so long to tell him. Let me know what you think of it!

Anyway enough of my babble, there will only be a couple more chapters (I'm thinking one per day...) and I'm hoping to have the next one out in about a week. A little spoiler - it's going to be about when he found out about Merlins magic.

Till next time,

AnotherNamelessAuthor.


	3. Chapter 3

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**HEAR NO EVIL. SEE NO EVIL. SPEAK NO EVIL.**

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but my imagination. Merlin belongs to the BBC and the song lyrics to Lifehouse.

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><p><em>.<em>

_Honesty is a hard attribute to find_  
><em>When we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out<em>  
><em>I may be the first to say that I don't have a clue<em>  
><em>I don't have all the answers<em>  
><em>And god I pretend like I do just<em>  
><em>Trying to find my way<em>  
><em>Trying to find my way the best that I know how<em>

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_(Lifehouse – Trying)_

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There have been numerous times when I have wished the hours away. Times before tournaments and feasts were I have yearned for the sun to move faster across the sky, for a new day to dawn quicker. It never did. If anything the more I desired it the slower each second seemed to pass, making each hours feel like a lifetime. Now when all I pray for is for time to still, to go in reverse, I am rewarded with my past wish, as the sun seems to race across the sky in what feels like the blink of an eye.

I have spent the last few days in my chambers, secluded and alone. The only one who disturbs me is my beautiful Guinevere. Three times a day she brings in a tray of food for me and watches and waits until I have eaten at least a few bites. But food holds no interest to me. It cannots fill the gaping hole in my very being which has been ripped open by my manservant.

I am at a loss.

I do not know what to do.

In all the years I have known that he has magic I have never thought to formula a plan of action for this scenario happening. At the beginning I had believed I could change him, teach him that magic was evil and convince him to change his ways. But as time continued I realised that it would be impossible. So silently I had locked away the knowledge in the depths of my mind, determined to play ignorant to the reality of the situation. I turned a blind eye to every mysterious disappearance pretending to believe the feeble excuse that my manservant was a frequent visitor to the tavern. But I knew he was hardly able to hold a pint of ale, let alone drink for days. I begrudgingly took credit for the amazing feats the whole of Camelot believed I had achieved, knowing that Gaius had said only magic could stop them and therefore it was Merlin who deserved credit.

For years I played my part the best I could, and when after my father had passed away and I became king, I came to a decision. Over the years the love and devotion Merlin showed me had changed my perspective on magic and its users. How could one so innocent and self sacrificing as him be evil? It was not possible. I am aware that it is Merlin who is the old buffoon Dragoon the Great and that he is also Emrys. I know that my father's death was of Morgana's doing. But at the time I was angry, mad that he could not save him and I lashed out. Still I came to my decision and with every chance I had I showed those who used magic more mercy. Slowly I tried to alter the indoctrinated minds of my people. I tried to show them that my father's rants and prejudices against those with magic were wrong and ill-founded. I know that I was taking my time doing it, but I am not the fool many believe me to be. Had I just declared magic legal seemingly out of the blue then there would have been uproar. I many have been brought up as a warrior, but I know politics. I know that for such a momentous change to take hold with minimal chaos that the transition must be staged, must have reason behind it.

By opening his mouth and breaking the seal which held together the crafted facade that concealed my ignorance, my manservant had destroyed my plan. He had destroyed all the foundations I had so carefully planted. Who now would believe that I had been working of my own freewill? Who now would not consider me a puppet, and a fool? He was not supposed to reveal his magic until after it was made legal to practice. He was supposed to be silent on the subject till then. He was not supposed to come to me now. He was meant to still be in the shadows living under the comfort of the pretence I had so long strived to maintain. Why could he not just follow the unspoken rules?

The door to my chambers opens and my sweet Guinevere enters carrying a tray with enough food for two.

"I thought that I would join you tonight and distract you from your mind." She gives me a smile as she places the food on the table and comes over to take my hands and more me towards it. "You should not be alone tonight my love. You have spent far too much time with just your memories for company."

She kisses me on the cheek and moves to sit opposite me. But I take hold of her wrist and pull her onto my lap. I realise that tomorrow is judgement day when Merlin will return. I find myself craving human contact and who better then the woman I love. We sit there in an embrace not speaking as I simply breathe in her scent and relax into the arms she has enclosed me in.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks, uncertain as to whether she should be attempting to broach this subject with me.

I shrug my shoulders and try to find the words to explain. But how do you explain it? How to find the words to express it all? In the end I settle for the truth, for honesty.

"I do not have the answers." I tell her. "I have pretended for so long, ignored the reality of the situation that know that the pretence is gone I am at a loss of how to act." Her eyes are full of sympathy but I can tell she is longing to ask me a myriad of questions she has no doubt formulated over the last few days. After a pause I give in to the beautiful brown eyes that seem to penetrate my soul. "Ask away."

She seems taken back by my granting her her unasked request and takes a moment to respond.

"Have you really known for four years?"

"Yes." I answer and then as almost an afterthought I add, "if I am honest I have known longer, I just did not admit it to myself before."

"How did you know?" I can tell this is a question she has been burning to ask more so then the previous.

"There were many things. But when I could deny it no longer?" I pause to think. "It was most likely when he freed the Great Dragon."

I hear her take a sharp intake of breath.

"But he would not have... He could not have... Arthur?" she questions in her confusion, looking for me to deny what I have just said. But instead I nod my head in confirmation of my words. "But if anyone found out he would be executed!" she exclaims.

And know she realises the true depth of my dilemma. It is not that Merlin possesses magic, but what he has done with his power that is crushing me as I strive to make a decision.

"Will you tell me everything?" Guinevere asks, penetrating through the spiral of questions I am about to absorb myself in.

I nod my head in acceptance and as the sun begins to set I take a deep breath and tell the women who holds my heart of all the secrets I have kept locked within my soul for so many years. Because I know I do not have all the answers.

But maybe, just maybe she does.

And as the hours pass by and the night passes to bring the dawn of the fourth day I know that it is now or never.

I need to just try and figure out the right path.

As if knowing she is losing me to my thoughts again Guinevere's voices a whole new problem. One I have avoided thinking on.

"You don't hate Merlin for hiding all of this from you for so long do you? I mean had he told you all those years ago would you have acted differently?"

Would I have?

Honestly?

"I don't know" I answer aloud.

But inside my whole being is screaming 'YES!' that it is the betrayal of trust which has me so undone.

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**Authors Note: Ok I'm really sorry this took so long but real life has been getting in the way. Anyway I hope it was worth the wait. Hopefully the next chapter won't take me so long. **

**Please leave me a review and let me know what you thought.  
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